I need help. I need to figure out how to teach my kids that they CAN do hard things. One child in particular is so good with his avoidance strategy that I got to have a lovely parent teacher conference today. His teacher said he is behaving fine but when he reaches a problem or a word he can't immediately figure out, he starts doing anything and everything he can think of to get out of doing the problem. Apparently he has become quite the story teller!
I started thinking about how the life they are growing up in has instant gratification written all over it. Technology is great but it has made so many things seem so easy to my kids that I think they think life in general should be that fast and easy.
I guess I'm wondering how to reteach the joy of a hard job well done to my kids. How do I teach that even if something isn't easy at first, you take a deep breath and keep on working on it until you get it. Giving up isn't an option. Avoiding it will only make it harder in the long run. These ideas seem completely lost on this child.
Any creative ideas out there that have worked for you guys with your kids?
5 comments:
So the parent teacher conference wasn't all about how great he's doing in school? Hmph. That's annoying.
I do agree that it seems like it's becoming harder and harder to teach kids that sometimes things won't always go the way they want them to. Unfortunately, I don't have any creative ideas. I think it's just something we have to keep working on with our kids. If you can think of any examples in your own life to help teach the principle, or even "create" a situation where he'll have to work to solve something, that might help.
Good luck!
You are a great mom! I have a child where everything is super easy and has always been super easy. I have put her in hard activities with no escape. This summer it was swim team. It was so hard those first few days. She understands money, so when I told her up front, she made the decision to join, that it cost so much, 100 to join and 60 for the suit, there was no going out. The end. She cried so hard that first day of practice. She did finally talk to my mother, I am so thankful for that relationship. Nothing I said got through to her. the rest of the week was hard, but it got better. Please don't tell her I shared this with you. It was hard for her. She is also gifted. This could be a sign of giftedness. She had an amazing talented and gifted teacher in Texas whose whole goal was to stretch them. She is amazing. My daughter still misses her. She did cry in her class, but she is eager to please, so she succeeded.
Every child is different. That is what has worked with us. I know that the Lord is on your side. He will answer your pleading and you will find the answer that is best for you. He has even answered our desperate potty training pleas. Sounds silly, but in the moment, we needed His help. He knows your son better than anyone and He will help you because you are so loving and faithful. You are a fantastic mom! I hope that helps some. I look forward to hearing your success story! :-)
I went to a Women's Conference talk one year given by a women whose many children all played many instruments (I think I've seen 5 of them playing some crazy quintet of Flight of the Bumblebees on five pianos in the Conference Center, well on TV). She said that the reason why she started the kids in music lessons, despite the stress and strain it adds to her day is so her children must do something hard every single day. That's one of the many reasons why piano is a non-negotiable in our house. There is much whining that it's too hard, but there is nothing sweeter than when one of them finally gets a piece right--on their own, or when they perform well at a recital. It's not any easier for me than it is for them. Perhaps I need to learn the doing of hard things each day just as much as they do?
I have taken the boys for a run (and made plans to do it each Saturday and then promptly broke my toe) and learned tons about how each approached a challenge. Getting that glimpse into their personalities has helped me to help them approach their challenges better.
Good luck. It's not easy.
My advice is to tell your kiddo no, you have to do this. And stick it to them, ignore them and their distractions and make them do it. Let them cry but don't help. Yes I am a mean mom, but I know that they can do it. Good luck. Let me know what you decide to do.
Hi Monica! I haven't checked in on you guys for a while and I'm so glad I did today. I love this post, perfect timing for me to read it.
I love how you wrote "teach that even if something isn't easy at first, you take a deep breath and keep on working on it until you get it. Giving up isn't an option. Avoiding it will only make it harder in the long run."
That is so good and well said!
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