With the pool season upon us, my thoughts often turn to how can I organize my life so I can get to the pool. How can I plan out the time at the pool to make it fun, safe, and relaxing for everyone. It usually means making sure we go at a time that isn't too busy, that we have snacks for those hungry swimmers, and that I'm not too tired to go so that I can have my eyes and hands ready to make sure it's a safe trip with these boys.
The funny thing is that I don't foresee a whole lot of pool time in our future right now. We have a lot of stress going on in our family right now. The timing of some of these life changes isn't ideal but that's the way life goes sometimes. I recognize that a lot of our stress is brought on by our choices so I'm not playing the blame game. We are just trying to stay afloat one day at a time and are so very grateful for all the helpful friends and family we have. We couldn't do all this without you!! Thank you thank you thank you!
Recently I was reading a post from my cousin's blog. She has dealt with enormous changes in her life in the last year and has been a tower of strength for so many. I'm always amazed at how this past year's twists and turns have not brought her down but have given her experience and made her that much stronger in her faith and determination to follow the Lord in her life. In this last post, she made an analogy with swimming and dealing with the stresses of life. It was so good that I thought I would share it.
"I've been teaching my children to float when we go to the pool. It is the first rule of water safety. Panic is your aquatic enemy. You must relax completely and be absolutely still. It occurs to me that in life, as well, thrashing around and panicking in a sea of stress is wasted energy, and possibly even emotionally lethal. We are often told to "Be Still." At times like this, even when there is literally a SEA of stress that seems as if it would swallow me whole, quiet faith calls for that stillness. Experience has taught me to follow my heart, and allow the greater powers of the universe to guide my life."
I want to say thank you to my cousin for sharing her wisdom and send a hope out there that we all can teach our children ....and ourselves for that matter...to learn how to be still in the seas of stress that come our way.
May 29, 2009
May 18, 2009
Reoccuring Dreams
I have a dream....yea yea (so did Martin Luther King) ...different kind of dream.
I have a reoccurring dream that totally drives me nuts. For the most part the dream is the same. I'm always wandering around a school like my high school or college and I can't find my way to my next class. I'm always lost. I'm always late. I think the class is always math or science (my least favorite subjects) and on top of everything I know I'm failing the class. I had the dream again last night. When I was starting to wake up this morning I was having trouble waking up cause the feeling of having failed the class was so intense. I actually had to keep telling myself this morning that I'm not in school anymore and I'm not failing the class so that I would wake up. I don't even feel good today because on top of being 8 1/2 months pregnant, I have a horrible cough and sore throat but I was actually so happy to be me and be in this state of life and done with school that it was a little ridiculous.
The funny thing is I graduated with good grades from high school and college. I never had a problem finding my way to class. And although I don't really like math or science all that much, I still did pretty good in the classes.
So all you dream interpreters....what does my dream mean and why do I keep having it? Anyone else out there crazy like me and have dreams like this?
I have a reoccurring dream that totally drives me nuts. For the most part the dream is the same. I'm always wandering around a school like my high school or college and I can't find my way to my next class. I'm always lost. I'm always late. I think the class is always math or science (my least favorite subjects) and on top of everything I know I'm failing the class. I had the dream again last night. When I was starting to wake up this morning I was having trouble waking up cause the feeling of having failed the class was so intense. I actually had to keep telling myself this morning that I'm not in school anymore and I'm not failing the class so that I would wake up. I don't even feel good today because on top of being 8 1/2 months pregnant, I have a horrible cough and sore throat but I was actually so happy to be me and be in this state of life and done with school that it was a little ridiculous.
The funny thing is I graduated with good grades from high school and college. I never had a problem finding my way to class. And although I don't really like math or science all that much, I still did pretty good in the classes.
So all you dream interpreters....what does my dream mean and why do I keep having it? Anyone else out there crazy like me and have dreams like this?
May 14, 2009
Give it a little more time
There seems to be an underlining theme going on in life right now. In a couple different areas of my life we have been running around trying to make things happen the way we want them to happen only to come to the conclusion that maybe just taking a step back and waiting will actually help resolve a lot of our concerns.
Waiting....not one of my favorite things to do. It requires patience. It requires reprogramming your thoughts to not focus on that task you so desperately wanted to have checked off your list. Waiting....hmpf!
Isn't it funny though that the Lord actually asks this of us quite often. To wait until it's His time. We learn humility, patience, temperance, ...all kinds of good qualities by waiting.
When I look at my kids and see how frustrated they get when they are asked to wait for something, I realize that it's a life long process....this whole waiting game. Here I am a full fledged adult and I still don't like to wait so how can I expect them to be so perfect at it.
My mom started a journal for me when I was little. She then gave me the journal and told me it was now my turn to start filling those pages. Ever since then I have been a journal writer. I don't write every day or even every week. I write enough though to be able to look back on times when I was so frustrated about something and then see the passage of time and how everything pretty much always works out fine even better than I could have planned it.
So the question is this....why do I struggle so much with giving things a little more time to work them selves out? Why do I even put myself through that struggle...why not just sit back and relax and let things happen as they will? Maybe it's a girl thing...maybe it's a personality thing? I don't know but when I see people who don't seem to get worked up about anything, I wish I could be more like them.
The pool opens in a week around here....maybe that will help me chill and wait with more patience....hee hee....I do love the pool!
Waiting....not one of my favorite things to do. It requires patience. It requires reprogramming your thoughts to not focus on that task you so desperately wanted to have checked off your list. Waiting....hmpf!
Isn't it funny though that the Lord actually asks this of us quite often. To wait until it's His time. We learn humility, patience, temperance, ...all kinds of good qualities by waiting.
When I look at my kids and see how frustrated they get when they are asked to wait for something, I realize that it's a life long process....this whole waiting game. Here I am a full fledged adult and I still don't like to wait so how can I expect them to be so perfect at it.
My mom started a journal for me when I was little. She then gave me the journal and told me it was now my turn to start filling those pages. Ever since then I have been a journal writer. I don't write every day or even every week. I write enough though to be able to look back on times when I was so frustrated about something and then see the passage of time and how everything pretty much always works out fine even better than I could have planned it.
So the question is this....why do I struggle so much with giving things a little more time to work them selves out? Why do I even put myself through that struggle...why not just sit back and relax and let things happen as they will? Maybe it's a girl thing...maybe it's a personality thing? I don't know but when I see people who don't seem to get worked up about anything, I wish I could be more like them.
The pool opens in a week around here....maybe that will help me chill and wait with more patience....hee hee....I do love the pool!
May 4, 2009
Strange World I'm Living in Right Now
I haven't written anything in awhile. Maybe it has something to do with my weird world I'm living in. Even the weather is weird. It was 95 degrees and sunny for four days straight last weekend. Now it's all rain and hoping to get around 55 degrees. It could make a person crazy trying to dress all these little people in the morning having no clue what the mother nature will throw at us next.
Then there is this whole ticking time bomb I have going inside. It's a very strange way to live thinking, my body could be done with this pregnancy really at any moment and how would I handle that. Could I find someone to watch my boys or get them to and home from school? Could I actually get a hold of my husband? Have I packed for the hospital so I actually end up with things I need this time? When it happens will my house be in such a mess that I might actually start cleaning it instead of heading to the hospital? Will I have gone to the grocery store so that there might actually be food in the refrigerator for those left behind? (I know there is food in the freezer cause I just swapped some yummy freezer meals with some friends so I know at least we have that!!!) Will we have the nursery ready this time to bring the baby home to? Will I actually have to learn to count the timing of contractions this time or will it happen the way it has the last 3 times with my water breaking out of no where and leave me completely disgusting and in shock?
I play a game in my head when I get to this point. I will just be sitting around during the day and think..."Okay, if my water broke right now, what would I do?" I have to say luckily it hasn't been any of those times because I usually come up with I would be in some serious trouble because my family is all spread out (work, schools, friend's houses) and anyone I can think of to help is also too far away or spread out.
Part of me wonders that it could be tomorrow and my whole world will change. Another part of me thinks, this is a girl...she will be different, she will decide to stay in there until 40 weeks just to prove that she is not like her brothers.
Either way it's definitely a feeling of limbo around here. When people send me invitations to things or I have appointments put on the calendar, all I can think is "hmm...will this be pre baby or post baby or will I be in the hospital anyway? A person could go crazy if they live like this for too long. I almost envy those of you who get to pretty much get life in order and then pick a date that you would like to have the baby on. I tried that once...picking a good date for me and one that my doctor would in in town on. Yea...my water broke anyway.
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